Mommy-Of-Three

This week's Weekend Walk-Up song comes from a dear friend of mine, Diana.  She sent me this song last week when my anxiety was at a peak.  The message came via a chat message, at a perfect time, when I was feeling very low, very tired, very defeated. It's called "Still Waters (Psalms 23)" by Leanna Crawford.  It spoke directly to my heart because it talks about anxiety and how it hates the calming peaceful message of Psalms 23.  "Cause anxiety hates Psalm 23 So just say it to yourself 'til you believe it, and I'm feeling like I need it right now." Treatment this week is going to go better.  It will go better because I'm believing it will go better, and maybe that's enough.  I know the importance of it. I know what it is trying to do in my body, even if it comes with some side effects that seem terrible at times.  We'll manage.  We'll deal with symptoms if it means killing cancer cells in my body.  It's necessary.  And it's go...

I've had so many people text, message, send me cards speaking about my positivity during my journey through cancer.   While it's true that I've tried tremendously to be positive and have a positive mindset during this battle, I can't rightfully post without telling you all about some of the bad stuff too. I have a week off from infusion treatment every third week, but still have radiation, which is just a quick part of my day.  During my last "week off" of treatment, I had a great week, filled with birthday celebrations, visits from family from both in town and out of town, and capped off with a family reunion. As all the festivities neared finish and my treatment approached, I found myself with increasing, almost debilitating, anxiety.  I would spend hours crying,  I wanted to be in bed. I wanted to sleep all day. I wanted to cry non-stop. Jason wanted to help; my parents, my sister, my kids...Everyone wanted to help.  "What can I do? How can I make it b...